Once Upon a Time

I’m actually on vacation this whole week. It’s actually my first real long vacation for the summer. I started working on and off right after exams and after a while, started working full time. Vacation is nice, but busy and boring at the same time.

It’s rather hard for me to sit at home and just lazy around, and feel that I’ve rested. There is always something nagging me in the back of my mind that needs to be done. I can never put those things down and really enjoy myself. So it’s really surprising to me when people say that they are able to have a relaxing day just by reading a book or watching tv.

So I’ve been keeping myself busy with cosplay shopping and seeing friends. There’s another convention this weekend so it won’t be too bad in terms of keeping myself occupied. My costume for this convention is going to be a pink coverall. It’s not quite done yet, but I’ll post a picture when it is done. ^_^

I feel rather accomplished because I went to the mall yesterday and asked for a bigger size. I’m actually looking for semi-casual blazers to wear for fall/winter. You’re supposed to size according to the biggest part of you, but it’s tough accepting that, especially when that brings me into the plus sizes. The only redeeming thing is that plus sizes are a bit big for me for the most part. I’d have to get it tailored for it to fit properly. Though, I think I’m still in denial.

I really don’t think I’m heading down a good road in terms of health. I don’t always eat out and I like cooking, even with my limited skills. I feel that I’ve educated myself to the extent that I can make good food choices. However, it all goes downhill when I add a lot of bad choices in there (mostly sweets and pastries). Small amounts of bad things add up, but they’re very hard to give up altogether. Finding alternatives feel very difficult too. I really don’t know what to do or how determined I am to change this lifestyle that I have.

I’ve always had self-esteem issues with my body image. I was always the chubby kid in school (“the fat lady sings!” or so they teased *laughs*) and I never felt pretty. Things have improved immensely once I started getting a new wardrobe filled with fashionable items that fit me. It feels nice when people say that this piece looks nice or that accessory looks good. I think things have improved, but they could be better. Besides, I don’t like fighting with all the other people in Hamilton for the bigger sizes. =P

It’s true! In Toronto, it’s always the bigger sizes that are left when things go on sale. In Hamilton, you’re left with the smalls and extra-smalls when things go on sale. *laughs*

Oh, I’m not trying to say that I want to get skinny. I just think that if I continue down the road with my eating habits, there’s a very very high possibility of me getting diabetes. Not very good. Also increases a bunch of other risk factors for other diseases/complications too.

It's the boy's birthday today. Since he's not going to write a blog about it, it's up to me to write something about it. Haha.

Wish him lots of 'happy birthdays' and nice stuff like that over at his blog.

 

Doesn't that cupcake on the left look so delicious? Makes me want cupcake now *laughs*

Today has been rather strange. After a weekend of doing absolutely nothing but laze around and watch anime, I feel like I’ve done a ton today.

Got to work on time. Decided that I didn’t need to go in early to do work because I didn’t have anything due this week. Got to work right away and chatted a bit with co-workers every now and then. I didn’t exactly get lots of stuff done today but I think that what I did do today was good work. There were points during the day where I really wish I could tell people to shut up and not talk while I’m trying to concentrate. Even drowning them through my music doesn’t work 100% because my headphones allow a lot of noise to get through.

After work, I had to go home to change my shoes cause they blistered my foot pretty badly. I didn’t even walk that much and I was wearing socks so those shoes are just not meant for my feet. Got changed and tried to invite my housemate/friend to go grocery shopping with me, she bluntly said no. I was a little offended in the tone that she used but oh wells. Walked to the grocery store. Quickly picked up the items I needed. I’m a little annoyed that zucchini prices went up by $0.50/lb in a week’s time. Grrrr.

Now, this doesn’t make any sense to me. In Canada, we’ve been using the metric system for a while, so why is it that the grocery stores still list prices mainly by the pound? They do have the price per kilogram, but that’s usually in a smaller font. Is it to make something look cheaper? Can we just not get used to the idea of using kg to measure our fruits and vegetables?

I got home and started cooking this Italian Sausage Spaghetti from Simply Recipes website . I traded the can of whole tomatoes for canned pasta sauce because I don’t have a blender to puree tomatoes. It worked just as well for around the same price. However, I find that I have this problem with canned/jar tomato sauce, it’s always too sour for me. So the solution that my mother taught me is to add in a bit of tomato soup. It takes away some of the acidity and sweetens the sauce. It was very very yummy. Even so, being stupid like me, I didn’t realize that I barely had enough spaghetti left for 2 servings. So I’ll have to go grab some tomorrow.

My monitor’s dieing on me so I’m going to get a shiney new lcd one tomorrow (mine is still a crt). Canada Computers recently opened a shop in Hamilton and I’m horribly excited to go and visit it. The monitor suddenly decided that it would tint red or yellow randomly. It’s happened a few times. I’m sure I could continue using this monitor for at least a while longer, but I want a new monitor so too bad. =P

Talked with my friend about going to the EX (CNE, whatever you wanna call it) this weekend. Excited. After 2 weekends of doing nothing, anything sounds interesting. The boy’s birthday is coming up. I looked at plane tickets on expedia.ca yesterday. I think my heart skipped a beat. $700. $700. for a ticket during Christmas. I know it’s peak season and everything, but that’s absurd. Conclusion? Gonna spend that money on eating good foods like sukiyaki instead. XD

This weekend was the food festival called Taste of Danforth in the heart of the Greek neighborhood in Toronto. Lots of people flocked to the outdoor event driven by great weather, good food and to join in the festivities.

Of course, who decides to get sick? Stupid body. I have this horrible flu that won’t go away. Runny nose. Coughing (Some random guy on the bus asked me if I was going to live after I coughed. People in Toronto are weird.). I still went because I really wanted to go, but my body didn’t really like it that much. I had to go home early. -_-;

My friends and I decided to go Saturday afternoon and quite a number of us showed up. Corporate sponsors are great, I got a Quattro razor for free (the reuseable ones, not the disposable ones) just as I left the subway station. It was amusing to get my friend to go back after we passed the guys handing it out to get one for his girlfriend. They were only handing out the pink female ones so it was a bit weird for him to get one. Regardless, she was pretty happy when he showed her what they had given out.

So we pigged out on food for the whole time. The meds were upsetting my stomach a bit so I didn’t really want to eat. I did eat a pork souvlaki (not too bad), fresh lemonade (amazing) and ice cream (waffle cone for $2). I also had fresh oyster for the first time. It’s always sounded pretty gross to me, but I tried it anyways. It can’t be any different than eating sushi and sashimi. The ones we had were really good. It could have used a little salt in my opinion, but my friends would argue otherwise. But yeah, it’s definitely on my list of “foods I will eat” now.

They were also handing out free Clodhoppers samples. I like them a lot. They’re my new favorite junk food, though I’ll refrain from buying them in the store cause I’m trying to cut down the sugar. When they’re giving them for free, though, what’s one or two packets?

I think I should go see the doctor tomorrow about this flu. I should be getting the worse of it right now, but it doesn’t feel like I’m getting any better. It’s what…the fifth day now? My voice sounds off. I can’t breathe properly unless I’m taking Bendryl at regular intervals. *sighs* It sucks to be sick.

So this weekend I ended up meeting up with some friends from high school for dinner. We do get together only a few times a year due to the fact that some of us go to school out of town. However, it’s usually difficult to gather more than 3-4 people on short notice (which always seems to be the case for our gatherings). So I was really surprised when I got to the restaurant and found out that we were expecting 10 people!

People started showing up and it all made sense. One turned into two, two turned into four and three had turned into six. We had three boyfriends there so that’s why there were so many of us. It was absolutely amazing to see how different the boyfriends were. Even though they were all Chinese, one didn’t speak Chinese at all, one spoke another dialect and one was better in Chinese than in English (a fob). One of the girls had always dated, even throughout high school, so it wasn’t surprising to see her boyfriend. But to see two other couples there, it really struck me as a sign of our age and how we’re growing up.

I felt distant to a lot of the people there, but it was alright. We were never really close in the beginning, but we are not enemies either. It’s all good.

It’s times like these where I really wish I could have brought my boy along. I’m sure he would have felt very awkward because everyone was Chinese, but it would have been nice to introduce him to some friends. Hm. I’ve never really talked about my high school years. Probably because there wasn’t much to talk about…well, ugh..bad memories. Let’s not go there.

The other day, the boy and I ended up on the topic about this persona that I had developed (the dark, twisted side to me in the last post). He asked if anyone else had been shown this character and I told him the truth that other guys have seen that side of me. I had actually developed that persona over the course of this strange relationship I had with Secretive Guy (it’s a pun on his nickname). I didn’t mention it, I could have, but it’s not something I’m really ready to tell him. I’ve actually told my story involving Secretive Guy a long time ago before the boy and I started a relationship, whether he remembers it is another story.

The point of the previous paragraph is that I’m in a bit of a predicament. The boy has told me about his previous relationships with girls. He never really dated any of them but he was still sort of “together” with those girls. I’m kind of ashamed of my previous “relationships&rdqu o; with guys so I’ve been very reluctant to talk about them. But at the same time, I feel very obligated to tell the boy about them because he told me about his history.

Hope you have a good evening!

Oh....I got tagggggggged by rosietulips XD

5 Weird things/ Habits about myself.

1. I have a dark and twisted side that manifests herself at certain times (yes, she even has a name).
2. I watch those ranchy raunchy shows on Showcase on Friday night when I remember. (don't tell my mother)
3. I'm 21 and I still sleep with a plush animal. (21 years and counting, actually)
4. I boil my water before I drink it. (i blame it on my parents)
5. I'm a horrible liar to everyone except my mother. (Lying to her has become way too natural)

I'm supposed to tag 5 people but I don't know that many people. So, I tag d.a. >_>;

It almost felt like 50 degrees Celcius today (around 118F)! It’s hotter here than it is in Texas where the boy lives. The people on the news keep asking people to conserve energy and stuffs. It really makes me wonder why the people at school can never get the temperature right. I was in the science and engineering library for most of the day and it was cool in there. After a few hours, I had my sweater on and I was still cold. So I go back to the hospital where the lab is and it is hot in there! Apparently the building’s AC can’t seem to cool the whole building so they’ve been directing the cool air to the important places like ICU and pediatrics, which basically left everyone else to fend for themselves. It’s rather annoying when it’s nice outside and you’re freezing inside and when it’s horribly hot outside, you’re roasting in there.

Enough of that, it’s summer so no complaints. Today’s post is going to be a bit ranty. Hope no one minds. If you do, feel free to skip it and move on to more interesting things .

I’ve been feeling a bit off lately. Though, I can’t quite put my finger on what is wrong. The bills are paid for, things are half decent with the boy and I’ve made lots of plans with my friends. I do believe the heat is getting to me a little because my stomach’s been a bit unwell and it just hurts every once in a while. I think I’m stressing myself out with work.

Things are going too well right now. There’s nothing wrong, I’m just not making a lot of progress. Every time I get asked the question, “so what are you up to?” The answer always seems to be, “I’m still reading.” There’s a bit of competition between one girl as much as we try to help each other by sharing ideas. We’re both working on projects that are essentially the same, but applying them for different organisms. She’s had lots of trouble getting the database to work for her organisms. I have twice, if not three times, as many organisms as she does. Regardless, it’s hard not to compare the pace I’m working at to her.

I feel very lost in what I’m doing. I’ve been handed a manuscript and told to write my paper in the same order. That’s about all the instructions that I’ve been given. I’m having a tough time deciding what information is relevant and what is not. I understand that writing a scientific paper is a very independent process, but I’m not her, I’m the girl that failed classes and barely passed some courses last year.

I want to do well. I want to impress my mother and show her the paper when it gets published, if it does. I want her to be proud of me. I feel like I’ve been really trying to move forward on this project, but the effort’s not paying off. I’m still stuck where I was last week.

I am stressed and I don’t handle stress very well. It builds up and I have a breakdown. There are things about myself that I can’t seem to get right. I’ve come to terms with how I look. Dressing myself in a stylish way in clothes that fit me correctly has gotten me compliments from people (the articles of clothing, not me). But that makes a difference because I feel I can hold my head high when I walk around in public and let them stare.

However, I don’t have the confidence when it comes to my abilities as a student or as an employee. I feel as if I can’t do anything right. Even if it’s done, it’s never done very well. I don’t know why anyone would hire me. I wouldn’t hire myself. Heh.

In a weird way, having this relationship with the boy has changed what I tell him. I always end up filtering things so that I don’t make him worry. Before, I would have no qualms about complaining about my day to him or going on and on about how unhappy I used to be. Now, I hold myself back unless he catches on that something’s not right (he’s very good at that).

Anyways, thank you for your time. Thank you for reading. I hope you have a good evening. And remember, trans-fats are bad for you. Eliminate them from your diet! Drink lots of water during heat waves. Don’t want anyone to pass out. >_<